An intentional community of individuals transforming our lives and relationships by changing the stories we’re living
HOw do You become restoried?
in one (kinda long) sentence:
You will become restoried through our online community in which you will face the complicated and beautiful truths of your life’s stories and the stories of your fellow members—through regular facilitated online community meetings, individualized coaching, in-person intensives, and private reflection through highly-curated content.
Based on proven strategies.
We’ve built a process that stands on three pillars of success. Each one requires the other two, like the legs of a stool.
content for exploration
The right content can make all the difference. At Becoming Restoried, we’ve curated top-notch content and processes to help guide you through a rich and robust exploration of your life’s stories. This content does some important heavy lifting for you, as it gets the process of self-reflection up off the ground so it’s easier for you to carry forward.
community of support
We need others for this journey. Ask anyone recovering from an addiciton, and they will tell you that without a community of support, there’s little hope of recovery. We need people to talk with, check-in with, open up to. We need friends who will see us, respect us, and love us for exactly who we are. And we need to give that same recognition, respect, and love to them.
COACHING for growth
All the best athletes in the world have coaches. No one ever outgrows the need for a coach. Coaches have a very specific purpose: to provide an indispensable outside perspective oriented in the direction of our desired growth. Coaches see things we simply can’t on our own, and they share those insights with us for no other purpose than to help us become the people we want to be.
Becoming Restoried draws from many different theories, modalities, philosophies, and practices. From those, we have distilled what we believe are the three at the core of everything we do:
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A therapeutic approach, rooted in curiosity and open questions, that believes the stories people tell themselves about their life play a crucial role in their health and mindset.
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An ages-old approach to gathering and talking: sit in a circle so everyone can see everyone else. Though we cannot literally gather as a circle on digital platforms, the principles of Circle Processes hold true—everyone deserves to be seen, respected, and heard.
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We are capable of so much more together than we are alone. As the African saying goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Emergence tells us that we are greater than the sum total of our parts. And when it comes to healing and restorying, the power of our collective is limitless.
we are all about the both/and.
We love plurals. Restorying is about thickening the thin, singular storylines we tell ourselves about ourselves. Ours is a process that thrives on plurals, rather than either/or dichotomies.
both SHORT AND LONG TERM.
We are big believers in therapy. At the same time, for many of us, we’ve developed an overdependence on therapy. It is the norm now to have weekly appointments with no end in sight. In such cases, therapy can become more a way to cope with life rather than actually to heal from our wounds. The Becoming Restoried process facilitates your long-term growth and well-being by focusing our attention on short-term goals. Some of our friends running other coaching and online community programs swear by 90-day progress windows. We like them too. Because here’s the truth—we don’t want you to need all we offer forever. You are meant to evolve.
both GROUP AND SOLO.
Numerous studies show that shared communities of engagement and learning are exponentially more effective than going the journey alone. For example, self-paced online courses have completion rates as low as 3%, while cohort-based courses typically see completion rates of over 90%. The reality is that you are far more likely to see the healing, connecting, and growth you want if you do it in the context of a consistent group. Our process lets you do all the solo learning you want while also giving you a community of people to grow in. We’ve gotta have both.
both VIRTUAL AND IN-PERSON.
Much of the world has fully embraced virtual learning and connecting since the arrival of COVID-19. The opportunities offered by virtual technology are game-changers, and we aim to harness their power in our process. Weekly Zoom coaching calls are central to our community. And still, we do not want to abandon the richness of in-person work—so we also offer solo intensives and group retreats.
both REFLECTION AND PRACTICE.
Education experts have long known that we learn best when we have the chance to both reflect on and practice our learning. We have to consider it and then apply it. When you learn something passively, there’s a 72% chance you’ll forget it. But when you use it, answer questions about it, and interact with others, there’s a 69% chance you’ll remember it.
What participants say about our process
“Becoming Restoried is an experience like no other. It is at once a reconnection with your personal journey … and a rite of passage of sorts where you capture glimmers of who you are meant to be in this world and how you can use your gifts to affect positive change.”
— julie
“Becoming Restoried is an encounter with kindness and a reunion with curiosity … Through sharing, I feel I’ve received my own story–with more wonder. A delightful paradox.”
— nina
“A wonderful experience that I highly recommend … Michael McRay is an excellent facilitator and teacher and creates a very safe space for honest sharing and self-work.”
— joanna
Becoming Restoried is both a process and place to restore your connections.
When we work to restory our lives, we revisit the vast countries of our life experiences to meet again the scores of stories living there. We look with eyes wide open for what we may have missed before that could invite us into a friendship with ourselves and thereafter with the world around us.
We turn our pain into purpose.
We find people walking the road we are.
And we come into an awakening of our own power and possibility.
HOW YOUR LIFE CAN CHANGE
When you restory your life, you’ll be able to…
Deepen your understanding of who you are, through enriched memories of life experiences
Find clarity on the origins of your decision-making patterns and habits
Connect your core wounds to your core purpose
See yourself as the protagonist in a unique, unfolding story
Release pain and discomfort held in your body and mind
Turn the confusion of a painful past into the power of a clear narrative of purpose
Decreased anxiety
The release of unneeded fears and worries
Strengthened empowerment and self-efficacy
Elevated self-confidence
An experience of groundedness and belonging
Reawakened and enlivened wonder and curiosity
More openheartedness and generosity
These in turn can lead to…
Such a wellspring of rewards will flow through every aspect of your life.
You’ll see increased contentment and joy in your relationship to yourself, improvements in your relationships with others, desire for more play, fun, and art. Even your work can benefit, as sharpened clarity of vocation can lead to increased focus and productivity. These can in turn result in higher revenue, fruition of long-held dreams, more desirable opportunities, and overall ease of stress.
the promise of reCONNECTION
When you join our community, you gain immediate access to a vast menu of options for restorying your life:
Community-wide facilitated meetings every single week
A weekly discussion with a small group of people committed to journeying alongside you
One-on-one coaching sessions as needed
A quarterly strategy session to check-in with and realign to your goals
Bi-weekly downloadable customized worksheets for self-reflection and personal development
Access to The Well, the online archive of every call and virtual event
This is a menu of options; not set of requirements. We know some schedules won’t allow for all this each month. Think of this menu like a buffet: take what you want when you want and leave the rest. When you become a member, the full calendar of Becoming Restoried events—including our free, open-to-the-public workshops and guest speakers—will download to your personal calendar, and you’ll be able to join for whatever you wish and miss whatever you need to. The good news is that everything will be recorded and stored in our online archive. And you can access it anytime.
Imagine trying to curate all this growth and learning on your own?
It’s frankly overwhelming. Researching and comparing retreats, hiring a coach, finding the right content for self-work, searching for quality workshops, looking for groups of people who want the same growth you do…and that meets consistently? And all through the lens of story? Even if this were possible to achieve, think of the time that would take. Think of the expense.
becoming restoried provides all this and more—
through one, streamlined process.
We believe your time and energy should be spent on the actual work of restorying yourself. Let us do the labor of curating the process and people so that you can focus on your growth.
PLus you experience the added benefit of doing all this growth with the same group of people.
because it’s not only about the work you do yourself;
it’s about the work we do together.
If all this excites you like it does us, click the button below to begin the process of registering for the waitlist. Nothing is official by joining the waitlist. It just gives us the chance to communicate with you.
Let’s journey together.
Is this for you?
Becoming Restoried isn’t for everyone. And we don’t want you to join something that is not best for you or for this community. So let’s provide some early clarity.
THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF…
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Restorying your life requires slowing down and paying attention. We have to set aside for a time the mentality of go-go-go. This kind of storywork is not a speedy work; it is a long, inquisitive walk toward self-acceptance.
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You are worth the investment. You deserve to have a life of clarity and purpose. And yet, not everyone is prepared to give themselves the gift of genuine respect. We get that. Take your time and know that we will be here when you’re ready.
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Curiosity can be a dangerous business of sorts. As our founder, Michael, has said, “Sometimes it’s easier to believe a lie than to risk being unraveled by the truth.” Genuine curiosity can lead us toward truths we need to hear, and at the same time, those truths can mess things up! The most excellent TV show Ted Lasso says, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” If you aren’t ready to dive deep into the unlit territories of your life, believe us—we understand. We’ll wait for you.
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As much as many of us would like to avoid it, the truth is that no healing can happen without vulnerability. The kind of growth and community we are interested in here requires that we face the truth of ourselves, open up to the possibility of belonging, and return repeatedly with curiosity to our stories. All this requires vulnerability, both with ourselves and the others walking the same road. But vulnerability can feel terrifying, especially when risking vulnerability in our lives has been the very thing that led to pain. And still, vulnerability—in the shelter of a community of care—is the key to unlock transformation.
THIS IS FOR YOU IF…
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Many of us struggle to feel clear on what we should be doing with our lives. Finding a meaningful vocation, navigating complex decisions, even choosing healthy relationships—all these must be embraced to enjoy a life of fulfillment. The process of Becoming Restoried tackles this through the power held in an expansive awareness and radical acceptance of our core stories.
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Everything we do in the Becoming Restoried community is anchored in storywork. We examine stories, listen to stories, tell stories, and find shelter in stories. We use many different story processes from across the world to mine the depths of our lives for the understanding we desire. If you love stories and their power, you will feel quite at home with us.
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Those of us on the Becoming Restoried team have all had parts of our identities crushed, targeted, or misunderstood. We have had to struggle to discern who we truly are. We still do. And through that struggle, we continue to sharpen and enrich our understanding of ourselves and who we want to be in the world. You can have this too.
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The Becoming Restoried venture is held up by three pillars, one of which is a community of support. We put a great deal of thought and intentionality into curating a community that provides the shelter we each need to explore our lives with vulnerability, curiosity, and courage. In an age where we have an abundance of connectivity but a scarcity of connection, our community feels like an oasis in the desert.
